AUNTY ANULA IS BACKKKKKK <3 x 100000. ahhhhh happy happy happy. omg clean nice smelling properly folded and ironed clothes again finally. and proper making of bed and clean room floors~ i am totally spoilt i know laughZ.
the house was just so cold without her. felt so much emptier. i guess now that we're grown up dad and mum don't spend that much time at home anymore. instead, aunty anula is the one that we always see cos she's always at home and she has become such an integral part of us. when i heard that she msged jie i was a little hurt that she never msg me but then she said that she did but the msg sending failed. and that really made my day more than anything else. in attempting to be strong, we try not to be oversensitive and let these little things affect us but the truth is, they do matter very much. esp when the person is someone so close to u and so much a part of your heart. so yea. that was nice =)
i think we screwed up this batch. ok la 'screwed up' is a little harsh. just... i didn't do a good enough job that i could have done. partly cos i lost a little of the fire (the inevitable comparison really stifled the passion), and partly cos i played all my trumps and had little left for this batch. i realized this fully today when i took cab back with kok tong, kenneth and zhiwei from sdc. and i casually asked them who they thought would be plt best and who they didn't like in e plt. before, i would have realized this long ago from having broken down the cmd-trainee barrier much more than now and i would've taken steps to counter it. like how i spoke to jarren, tengseng and daniel. and the guilt trip that i gave the pes C for ostrasizing one of their own. but this time... i only realized in week 7.
i keep envying, planning and reminiscing. i spend so much time on what i don't have, what is coming up ahead and what i had before that i keep losing focus of the present. "be here. be present. now." the exact words i used on my drill squad a few days ago to get them to concentrate on the practice. hypocrite. i envy daniel, marcus, jethro and weikiat, i am always thinking abt what comes next to be on the ball and i mull over what we did for our last 2 batches. and in doing all of that, i lost sight of my highest priority: my section.
so i'm trying to make reparations. maximize my time these 8 days. and hopefully i'll never lose sight of my vision again - to touch lives; to make a difference. not just duties and efficiency. ugh the iniquities of work.
our next batch is ptp standard. so we'll have time. and in that time, i want to train their drills and their field pack inspection. i want more than half the drill squad to come from our plt. i want them to build the spirit that i know is possible cos it will be unadulterated by the need to wayang or the fear of punishment. i want to defy all the prejudices and stereotypes of a standard batch. and if possible, without pushups =) ok la the pushups thing is... really qn mark. bleh getting caught up in the future again... must constantly remind myself that it cannot be at the expense of the present.
right now. the immediate concern is........... DRILL SQUADDDDDD omg faintZ x 1000. prayZ x 1000000000000000000000000. we need a faith and hope. yups. a miracle would do too.
Name: Foo Guo Zhong Melvyn
Age: 19+
Affiliations: MSHS (Pri), Rosyth, RI, RJC, SFX (LoG)
Bday: 14th Nov
Email: mel_protoss@hotmail.com
AUNTY ANULA IS BACKKKKKK <3 x 100000. ahhhhh happy happy happy. omg clean nice smelling properly folded and ironed clothes again finally. and proper making of bed and clean room floors~ i am totally spoilt i know laughZ.
the house was just so cold without her. felt so much emptier. i guess now that we're grown up dad and mum don't spend that much time at home anymore. instead, aunty anula is the one that we always see cos she's always at home and she has become such an integral part of us. when i heard that she msged jie i was a little hurt that she never msg me but then she said that she did but the msg sending failed. and that really made my day more than anything else. in attempting to be strong, we try not to be oversensitive and let these little things affect us but the truth is, they do matter very much. esp when the person is someone so close to u and so much a part of your heart. so yea. that was nice =)
i think we screwed up this batch. ok la 'screwed up' is a little harsh. just... i didn't do a good enough job that i could have done. partly cos i lost a little of the fire (the inevitable comparison really stifled the passion), and partly cos i played all my trumps and had little left for this batch. i realized this fully today when i took cab back with kok tong, kenneth and zhiwei from sdc. and i casually asked them who they thought would be plt best and who they didn't like in e plt. before, i would have realized this long ago from having broken down the cmd-trainee barrier much more than now and i would've taken steps to counter it. like how i spoke to jarren, tengseng and daniel. and the guilt trip that i gave the pes C for ostrasizing one of their own. but this time... i only realized in week 7.
i keep envying, planning and reminiscing. i spend so much time on what i don't have, what is coming up ahead and what i had before that i keep losing focus of the present. "be here. be present. now." the exact words i used on my drill squad a few days ago to get them to concentrate on the practice. hypocrite. i envy daniel, marcus, jethro and weikiat, i am always thinking abt what comes next to be on the ball and i mull over what we did for our last 2 batches. and in doing all of that, i lost sight of my highest priority: my section.
so i'm trying to make reparations. maximize my time these 8 days. and hopefully i'll never lose sight of my vision again - to touch lives; to make a difference. not just duties and efficiency. ugh the iniquities of work.
our next batch is ptp standard. so we'll have time. and in that time, i want to train their drills and their field pack inspection. i want more than half the drill squad to come from our plt. i want them to build the spirit that i know is possible cos it will be unadulterated by the need to wayang or the fear of punishment. i want to defy all the prejudices and stereotypes of a standard batch. and if possible, without pushups =) ok la the pushups thing is... really qn mark. bleh getting caught up in the future again... must constantly remind myself that it cannot be at the expense of the present.
right now. the immediate concern is........... DRILL SQUADDDDDD omg faintZ x 1000. prayZ x 1000000000000000000000000. we need a faith and hope. yups. a miracle would do too.